Safe Space

IMG_1157

My therapist made me create a safe space in my mind. A place where I felt the most at peace and content and relaxed. Immediately I thought back to my trip to Ireland last summer, and when we were to these mini cliffs that overlooked the ocean.

The weather this day was perfect for me, cool, cloudy, windy. I’ve never experienced something so beautiful and peaceful, yet also terrifying. The sound of the waves and the plunge down the cliffs to the ocean created a sense of fear within me, but the site before me was also so beautiful.

I think back to this place a lot when I’m feeling depressed or empty, the fear brings me back to reality but the scenery helps me stay calm.

I highly recommend everyone suffering with anxious thoughts to create a safe space for themselves whenever they get lost in negative thoughts or anxious feelings. It’s really made a difference in my day to day life.

Thank you.

Advertisements

Mental Illness & Substance Abuse

As someone who has been through quite a list of medication to help with Anxiety already, I know how hard it can be to seek something that can help with the pain.

Thank you to Marissa Krick for contacting me and telling me about the organization she works for that helps people dealing with Substance abuse and mental illness.

I’ll leave the link to the website below for anyone who needs some extra help trying to make it through each day.

 

https://www.drugrehab.com/co-occurring-disorder/anxiety/

This is it.

I don’t really know what it is, but the rain always makes me feel incredibly sad. As I look out my living room window from my seat on the couch, I hear the sound of the rain hitting the roof, and I see everything outside soaked. It makes me miserable. I’m not a fan of the sun either, but days like today make it hard to even enjoy nature.

That being said, the last few weeks have been incredibly hard for me. The feeling of heaviness in my chest continues to grow, and I’m always on the verge of tears no matter the situation. Its becoming exhausting. My relationships are suffering from it; boyfriend, parents, friendships, work…

I don’t really know how to feel better. I’ve never felt…”okay”. There’s always 5 million thoughts racing through my head telling me everything thats wrong or that could go wrong. All of it weighs down on me and by the time I register these thoughts, I have become a puddle of sadness.

I’m losing time as well, periods of the day where I forget what’s going on or what I’m doing. I’m so wrapped up in my own mind that I forget there’s a real world out there happening right at my feet. I know I’m supposed to stay grounded and alert to the present and what’s going on around me…but I don’t know if I like it out there either. Its hard to find happiness in a place where neither your mind nor your surroundings can comfort you.

I don’t know what it feels like to be happy. I mean, I know laughter, I know smiling, I do both quite often. But true happiness…I feel like its something I can’t achieve. To be completely fulfilled and willing and free. Theres too much weighing down on me at all times.

There are times, and I hate to admit it, where the thought does cross my mind of if I would be better out of this mind and out of this world. Away from everything that hurts me and makes me cry. I can’t find a reason to stick to something that makes me suffer.

Everyone says it’s supposed to get easier when you get help, but so far the help has only highlighted my problems even more. It’s hard to love yourself when you know how messed up you truly are.

I’m at a loss of what to do at this point, its been so long feeling like this, whats a lifetime more.

Thank you.